Freak Out #1

I have officially left home! At least one version of it. Last night was my last night in the Land of 10,000 Lakes.

The last few days were the perfect end to a great summer in the Midwest, and it was all thanks to my wonderful friends and family. The weather was beautiful – too warm for some but perfect for me. I spent yesterday organizing and tying up some luggage loose ends. I was so happy to have made it to one final yoga class, and I’m glad my mom (reluctantly) agreed to join me. I was surprised by the amount of focus I had, despite my stress and sadness about leaving. Unfortunately, the same wasn’t true when I went to bed last night.

Freak out #1: 12:00am – 5:15am. I didn’t sleep at all. My thoughts were in a bad place. I started to feel hugely homesick. Pre-homesick. 9 months is SUCH a long time. I really have no idea what I’m getting myself into. I don’t know how to travel. What the T F am I doing!?!

At 4:00am, I decided to read. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho has been with me since my mom recommended it before I left for college, though I have only read it once. “A fable about following your dream.” Today, I realized that the book’s message has inspired my path more than I knew.

A passage about a timid shop owner was particularly relevant. The protagonist, who is travelling through the shop owner’s village, gives him advice about expanding his business. He replies:

“I’m already used to the way things are…The shop is exactly the size I want it to be. I don’t want to change anything, because I don’t know how to deal with change. I’m used to the way I am.”

“Today I understand something I didn’t see before: every blessing ignored becomes a curse. I don’t want anything else in life, but you are forcing me to look at wealth and at horizons I have never known. Now that I have seen them, and now that I know how immense my possibilities are, I’m going to feel worse than I did before you arrived. Because I know the things I should be able to accomplish, and I don’t want to do so.”

I’m used to the way things are too. And I’m totally comfortable with them. But something in me recognizes the immense possibilities in the world. Something in me wants to accomplish bigger things. And I can’t ignore that.

Back to my last day.

Final dinner: Chipotle Burrito Bol. Forever my favorite fast food meal (at least in this country).

Pregnant camel? With snack access!

Packing with my dad last night was delightful. Thanks for your help dad! The extra set of eyes took away a lot of my anxiety. Yesterday afternoon, I painfully realized how small by backpack is. Mini freak out – but luckily Connie came to the rescue J. I feel a lot better now. We got it all in – with a little room to spare. And we discovered one of the many TOTALLY SWEET daypack clip-on attachment options. Check it out:

Mom and I figured out how to Skype from my MacBook to her iPhone. And thanks to Elliott, my iPod has been updated with some of his current faves, and a playlist specifically designed to maximize in-flight excitement before arrival in unexplored foreign lands. Can’t wait to crack into it.

I enjoyed a little piece of each of the Tom Heermans yesterday. That’s all I could have asked for on my last day in my homeland. Saying goodbye was really tough, but I’m learning (...or at least attempting) to keep looking forward. I have so much to look forward to.

Here are a few pics I snapped in the plane on my way out of Minneapolis:

It was kind of magical to see it all from above. The pictures of course don’t do it justice. I’ll miss the green and the water. And the Dome. Not really.

Now its just three days in Tacoma (one of which happens to be my GOLDEN BIRTHDAY!!), and off to Seoul.