Oops.

So, it turns out Americans aren’t the most self-aware citizens in the world. As if we hadn’t realized that already. I don’t know if it was the group mentality that perpetuated our ignorance, or the perception of Mongolians as rough, dog-eat-dog people. In any case, the group and I recently came face to face with our first experience of unintentional disrespect.

So here’s the story. Sagi, the owner and facilitator of our guesthouse, ended up no-so-subtly explaining to two members of our group last night that we are on the verge of getting evicted. This came as a complete surprise to most of us, me included. In retrospect I guess it makes sense. We are pretty messy. But, at least in my mind, our mess was a result of our sheer size. There are 27 of us packed into 3 bedrooms, with only 2 toilets and one common area. Some mess is to be expected. Especially when we all have laptops, cameras and iPods that require charging from a single shared power strip. Not to mention all our toiletries, bags, laundry, etc. To us, we were doing our best to live in harmony with the other members of our group, but it seems we forgot to take into consideration the perception of our hosts and their opinion of what is considered “normal,” respectful conduct. There is no doubt that Mongolians have different idea of waste than we do. For example, it is not customary to provide toilet paper or paper hand towels in public restrooms here. Nor is it common for restaurants to offer endless complementary napkins or glasses of water. The just have a different idea of what and how much is necessary. I don’t think it is motivated by the idea of sustainability, but by cost. In any case, it seems that Mongolians produce a lot less waste that Americans. To be fair, the American paradigm of endless supply has prompted us to come up with ways to effectively deal with waste, which the Mongolians haven’t quite done. But in any case, our expectations about waste and what is considered too much needed to be checked.

The garbage cans in the guesthouse were filling…quickly. To us, it seemed sufficient to pile our garbage around the cans once they were full – or perhaps in the hopes that it would be recycled. Sagi didn’t see it this way. To us, leaving our shoes on the floor in the front hallway seemed sufficient, even though there was a cabinet there designated for shoe storage. To us, removing our shoes before entering the building was enough. To Sagi, it was blatantly disrespectful to disregard the cabinet. Those of us on dish duty in the morning expected the dishes to wait in the sink for us until we go there. Our hosts didn’t like to wait, and ended up cleaning them for us much of the time. We became comfortable here, equating the space to a dorm, and disregarding the hosts and other tenants. We are used to being provided for, and used to having our space when and where we want it. We thought squeezing ourselves into this small space was effort enough. To Sagi and her family, were a big orb of destruction and laziness.

It would have been nice to have had some forewarning before a threat of eviction. But I guess it would difficult for anyone to approach a group of our size. And if Sagi’s standards for what is respectful are higher than ours, we may have been doomed from the start.

The group mentality didn’t help either. Once a few people became lax about something, we all assumed the standards had been lowered. Standards easily slip in a group our size. But we shaped up. We haven’t been kicked out yet, but our complementary breakfast has turned into more of a buffet than a made-to-order deal. Hopefully we will find a way to apologize and reconcile. In any case, it has been a good learning experience. And a lesson in humility and respect.